The Q Word

A poem I wrote.
*WARNING* There is 1 swear word.


'Twas a quiet, peaceful night
at the hospital, there
All the nurses were working
without a care
Till I came in, triumphantly,
for a coffee I had just bought
and my name I wrote on the
volunteer's slot
"Good evening!" a tech said to me
with joy in his eyes and a jump in his feet
"Good evening.." I replied,
with a quizzical look
"There's been no crazies," he whispered
"No criminals, no crooks!"
"Ah-ha!" I laughed, realizing his aim
"So today has been quiet and tame?"
All at once, I heard gasps all around
Some nurses ran out the door in a single bound!
"What?!" I shouted
"What did I say?"
"You just ruined our wonderful, peaceful day!
We will have a sore, pitiful night, it's true!
Oh, but perhaps it was my fault for not telling you.
You see, we share a suspicion, the staff and I,
that if you say the "q" word during your shift, past five,
your peaceful night will be disrupted for sure
By criminals, druggies, and crazies galore!
All of which have no viable medical emergency
but simply want a fix or some food for free!"
I nodded my head, mildly concerned.
"You're not taking this very seriously." The tech discerned
"Unfortunately not. I mean, what's the big deal?"
"Oh, you don't even know the feel..."
Just then the ER burst with commotion and chaos!
An old man came in screaming
"I LIKE SPACE BOTS."
Another sauntered in while defecating himself.
A ragged woman yelled
"I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF."
I jumped to work immediately, trying to keep up with the crowd
when I heard a patient in another room thinking out loud:
"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch, Jason, for what he did
I bet he's still at his buddy's house where he hid."
Just then the patient emerged from his room
as I braced myself for some kind of crazy-guy doom
"Nurse, please, may I call my wife?
I wouldn't be so persistent, but I'm afraid for her life!"
"I'm sorry, you'll have to return to your room, Mr. Giff.
It is none of our concern who your wife has sex with."
The rest of the evening lagged on and on
It was so long it felt almost dawn.
Before I left I checked the rooms one last time
and found an old asian woman, about eighty-five.
She smiled at me, though her face was pained.
Just then, the doctor said,
"Well, it obviously isn't a sprain.
What you've got here is a dislocated wrist."
"Great!" The woman replied,
"Well I'm pissed."
She laughed warmly with the doctor, simply teasing,
as the nurse filled her IV and soon, she was sleeping.
As the doctors massaged her bones back into place
they whispered, "she must have fallen off of that ladder with some grace!
What a tough woman, I must say,
and to be able to handle pain this way!"
I moved on with a smile,
but certainly felt bad for what I'd done!
Needless to say, if you ever hear the "q" word in a hospital,
just run.